This Is How It Feels
by Buck Wilde
Summary: "They'd never fought like this before. Then again this didn't seem like a fight. It was quiet, heartbroken and desolate. They weren't goading each other. They weren't fuelled by their desires. It was eerie and cold and painful and dark." Read and review.


I don't own GG or any of the characters or story lines. This is just a hopeful little piece I wrote for the Chair fans in our time of uncertainty: will Blair choose Chuck or Louis? I know this is a bit late (it's set just after Blair and Dan first kiss), but with the way things are roller-coastering at the moment, well you can expect that some stories will be way off, and unfortunately, posted far too late. Yes I mean me. But the ending is what we want so I hope you enjoy! Go team CHAIR! **Some of you may recognize this story, it is up under a different title and author, but it's still mine. This is just a shorter, cleaner version.**

They'd never fought like this before. Then again this didn't seem like a fight. It was quiet, heartbroken and desolate. They weren't goading each other. They weren't fuelled by their desires. It was eerie and cold and painful and dark.

"Why did you kiss him?"

His voice was like velvet; quiet, gentle, full of despair.

"I needed to see if I could move on."

Blair was standing in the doorway, tall and delicate. Sobbing. He was sitting on her bed, shoulders hunched.

"Why?" It was barely a whisper.

"Because you had moved on." Her own voice was broken and shaking.

"I never did."

"She was _sacred _to you."

He didn't answer. His shoulders shook.

"I need to let go, being with you hurts too much." She was trying to be strong and do this for herself. In the back of her mind she knew it was a lost cause.

"Being apart hurts us more." He was trying to reason. Of course he had hurt her; he had hurt her by not being there.

"I think I'm past caring." Attempted sarcasm.

"I love you, Blair." They were the easiest words to say in his current state. They weren't croaked. They were pristine.

Sacred.

"Chuck. It's not enough. You moved on first." God, she wished it could be enough because she felt like her heart was literally bleeding. Her hand flew to her chest. There was no blood.

"And could you?" His voice was slightly louder, his dark eyes wide and wet. How could he still love her when she was breaking his heart?

She bit her trembling lip as the tears streaked down across the skin of her cheeks and into the hollow at the base of her throat. She avoided his gaze.

"Blair, could you move on? Can you move on with Humphrey?" Lifeless. That's what he was becoming without her.

She broke down into heart wrenching sobs, her body slumping to the floor. She was breaking.

"No," she cried. "He's great. Oh God, Chuck he's not you. I love you so much it hurts."

He fell to his knees before her, wiping her tears from her cheeks with his fingertips.

He cooed her name sweetly in her ear. Over and over.

"Blair. Blair. Blair. Blair."

He kissed the pool of tears gathering in the hollow where her collar bones met.

"It's always been you," he whispered, "I love you. Always have, always will."

"What did you feel for her?"

"It wasn't love. It was... something like appreciation. She was going to save my father's legacy. It's all I have left of him. Turns out that it was all a lie."

She hushed him like a mother would a child.

"It doesn't matter. He loved you Chuck. That was all true. That will last forever."

He nuzzled into her neck.

"Marry me, Blair," Chuck whispered.

"Fight for me, Chuck."

"Always have, always will."

He shifted and she whimpered.

"Stay," she whispered.

"Forever."

They moved so they were lying on their sides, facing each other. Their foreheads touching, fingers intertwined. They continued to cry.

"This isn't going to work, is it?" She whispered.

"This time it will." He kissed her softly, only brushing his lips across her.

"We need to work through everything first."

"I'm mad that you kissed Dan," he muttered. She sighed.

"Why did you say that?"

"The walls are down. From now on I want you to know everything."

"Well I'm still mad with you too, about everything."

"I know." His fingers traced her perfect lips, her delicate nose and her soft cheek bones.

"I'm never the most important thing in your world."

"You are..." she pressed a finger to his lips. When she took her finger away he continued. "I'm going to sell The Empire, rebuild Bass Industries. I'm going to redefine my own legacy. You will always be first, but do it with me Blair. Build your future with mine."

"Not yet, we need time. You need to fight for me."

"I will. I won't stop until there is a ring on your finger. Hell, as dramatic as it is, I won't stop until you're dead."

She smiled.

"Give me some time, Chuck."

"I'll wait for you."

"I wish I could believe you."

He pressed his lips to the liquid diamonds on her cheeks. She tasted beautiful.

Salt. Like the ocean. But somehow sweet; berries, honey and sunshine.

They sat up and he kissed her softly on the lips. His mouth was soft and lingering. Blair could taste his tears too. And she sighed at how delicious he was to her. As she was delicate and sweet, he was rich and languorous; thick caramel and scotch.

Chuck gripped Blair tighter to him as she pulled at his bottom lip with her teeth, gently gaining access to his mouth and sliding her tongue along his. This action alone had him straining for release and he knew that, had it been anyone else, he wouldn't have felt it the same way.

Likewise, as soon as Chuck returned her advances, thrusting his tongue slowly into her mouth and drawing it along the back of her teeth, she felt ready.

His hands travelled slowly down her torso until he reached the hem of her dress. His fingers were like feathers, drifting tentatively at her thighs. Teasing her so that she moaned his name.

The way that she said it left no doubt in his mind that she still loved him.

"Charles." It dripped slowly from her mouth, with the consistency of caramel, and honey.

She placed her hands on top of his and helped him lift her dress over her head. Every touch was tender, every kiss soft and warm. It was as though it was their first time. She sighed as his thumbs grazed across her skin.

Blair pushed Chuck back down and straddled him. Her hair hung over her face and into his. She stared into his eyes and they just watched each other, their hands caressing the other while their eyes stayed locked.

"I'm scared," he whispered.

"Me too." She kissed him, their lips fusing together until he allowed her tongue to touch his. His moans were soft and innocent. Their mouths were hot and wet and slow.

He cupped her breasts in his hands and rubbed them between his fingers until she moaned his name again. Then she disappeared. His eyes shot open.

But she was still beside him, removing her remaining clothes before she reached to slowly open his shirt and run her fingers along his chest, tracing the planes of his muscles and brushing across the light sprinkle of hair.

He grasped at her hip, wanting her closer. But she continued slowly with his belt until she had finally taken all of his clothes off.

"Blair," he moaned, as her hands explored the firm planes of his chest, kneaded his shoulders, traced his jaw and stroked his thighs. She touched him for what felt like hours, admiring all of him with only her delicate fingertips and soft palms. When her thumbs grazed across his nipples he whimpered.

"Blai… ahh."

And when she finally scratched her fingers down his chest, slowly, slowly, a small tear escaped from the corner of his eye. The intensity that came from the slowness of her ministrations was terrifyingly beautiful.

She lent down to kiss the tear away from the corner of his eye and he was gone. Her lips on his skin sent fire through his body and he felt the need to ravish her immediately. Chuck pulled her down next to him and then took the lead.

He barely applied any pressure, letting his fingers brush like feathers across her skin until she shivered. He traced her name along her arms and printed his across her flat alabaster stomach. Her breathing hitched and spiked and she was constantly gasping. Little pants that escaped her mouth were soon tangible and in turn, caused Chuck to moan.

When he cupped her breasts in his palms she sighed. He brushed his lips across hers for only a moment.

"Please Chuck. Don't stop," she whimpered.

He acquiesced, trailing hot, wet, open mouth kisses down her neck, between her breasts. Down until she couldn't take handle anymore.

"Fuck me, Chuck," Blair said softly, pulling him closer. He stopped and sat back and she whimpered at the loss of his warmth.

"Please?" She begged, wanting him to fill her completely, take her home, like only Chuck could.

"No," he said bluntly, gently. She looked like she might cry so he leant forward and kissed her tenderly, melting her lips to his. He pulled back and looked at her expectantly.

"Make love to me, Chuck. Please," she amended. He smiled.

"With pleasure, my love."

He made love to her slowly, softly, so gently that she thought she might splinter like thin crystal.

Chuck whimpered against her neck, nipping her flesh with his teeth.

"Blair." It was a whisper.

"Chuck." It was a plea.

It ended with one last cry of her name passing between his lips and onto hers.

"I love you," Blair whispered against his lips, he could feel her body shuddering underneath his.

"I love you," Chuck whispered back.

xoxo

**Hey Upper East Siders, a shout out from C wondering where in the hell B has disappeared to. Keep your eyes peeled for our lost queen, apparently C can't stand the taste of his own medicine, unless it's served with a spoonful of sugar. Unfortunately it appears Chuck's Sugar is off the grid. Send in tips, and lock away the kids, there's a Bass on the prowl. **

**xoxo Gossip Girl.**

The blast went out almost as soon as Chuck sent in the request. It had been almost four weeks since Chuck had woken up alone on Blair's bedroom floor, covered in a blanket. The night had begun with heartbroken words of disappointment and had ended in heart breaking, beautiful sex. He had found his clothes folded neatly on her bed with a note on her very own stationary she reserved just for Chuck, metallic black with her initials monogramed in gold in the bottom right corner.

_Chuck,_

_I love you._

_Please wait this time._

_Yours BW._

_xoxo_

He could feel the folded note like an external heart, pounding away in his shirt pocket. He knew how Blair felt now and he didn't like it. He didn't like how he was sitting in his chair at the Empire, signing the last legal document before handing it over to the new owner without her. He didn't like how he had no idea where she was and if she was alright. He hated going to bed alone, waking up alone.

Chuck considered again calling Andrew Tyler, his PI. But he wouldn't. This was about trust. He smirked to himself and ran a hand anxiously through his hair. Trust; and he'd just messaged Gossip Girl. He picked up his phone and dialled. It answered almost immediately.

"Charles, dear, what can I do for you?" Eleanor Waldorf asked. Dear. She'd called him dear, perhaps there was still hope that he was forgiven by Blair's family.

"Eleanor, you don't have to tell me where she is, just tell me she's alright," he begged, anxiously biting his lip.

"Of course I don't have to tell you where she is. But I will tell you that she is fine and happy." Eleanor had a strange way of being soothing, she would start by snapping and end with a maternal lilt. It confused Chuck to no end.

"That's all I've ever wanted," he whispered.

"Chuck, she'll come back to you eventually. She just needs space to clear her head," Eleanor stated. He could almost imagine how she would place her hand on top of his and flash a Waldorf smirk.

"Will she speak to me?" He asked hopefully.

"I know how she is Chuck but she isn't with Cyrus and myself, nor with Harold and Roman. I couldn't ask her if I wanted to."

"Thank you."

Chuck sat back in his chair and gazed at the picture of him and Blair on his desk. It was a photo taken of them when they had first gotten together. They both had their arms tightly around the other and they were smiling, but at each other, not the camera. Chuck recalled the day it was taken; they were walking through the park on their way to breakfast and they were both positively glowing from the gentle morning kisses they'd had upon waking. Dorota had been walking in the park with Ana, saw them and snapped a photo.

Blair was in a purple summer dress and Chuck shorts and a shirt with a purple bow tie. They always matched. Always were in sync. They knew the other better than they knew themselves.

His phone went off and he pulled it quickly from his pocket praying it was from Gossip Girl. It was Serena:

**C, **

**B checked in with me this morning.**

**She's fine but won't tell me where she is.**

**Can you come over? Need 2 talk!**

**S x.**

Chuck sighed and dropped his phone onto the table. He glanced over to the liquor cabinet, his eyes drinking in the full, untouched bottles of amber and gold. He looked away. He had promised himself that if Blair wanted time; then she should come back to an even more mature Bass. No scotch for Chuck.

He lifted the box with his remaining things from his desk. Inside were mostly personal things; photos of him and Blair, stationary that Lily had bought for him, his silver and amethyst butterfly cufflinks that Blair had given him. A few different bow ties in red, green, blue and of course purple.

The Harry Winston ring.

Chuck grabbed his coat and left the Empire for the last time. As he went through each room, he remembered only the good times he had with Blair. The endless hours spent making love in the bedroom, the living room, the kitchen, the hall, the bathroom and the elevator.

The days and nights they would spend talking, lying naked in the sun that spilt through the window or curled up in bed, their foreheads touching watching the stars. He would watch her for hours, bathed in moonlight, while she slept. They would whisper even though no one else was around. They would talk about their days, and the challenges they had overcome, the difficulties of work, their future together, and even their tempestuous past; as a couple and alone.

Chuck walked past the room they had decorated together. Empty. It was painted pale purple, with a smattering of white butterflies on one wall. He knew she'd done it in the hope that one day they might have a baby girl. She'd never said the words aloud, but he knew.

He left the Empire behind, and hopped into his waiting limo. He couldn't help but touch the leather and think of her. Chuck closed his eyes and all he could see was the night that she gave herself to him. The way she had touched him was different to anyone else. He had had sex before, but he never knew it could be so good, so tender. So full of love. It had been her first time but in a way, his too. It was his first time making love.

She was the only one he had ever made love with.

Chuck was pulled out of his thoughts when Arthur announced they had arrived at the Waldorf penthouse. It was wrongly named now, since no Waldorf's lived there. Only Serena.

Serena. She needed to talk with someone and he would listen. She was Blair's best friend, his friend, his sister. He would do whatever he could to help her. Although he was curious as to why she hadn't called Nate. They'd been back together since just before Blair had disappeared and they seemed like they were in it for the long haul.

Chuck strode into the elevator and rode it up to the top floor. He smirked at the mark Blair's heel had made high up on the wall. The lights blinked before him like rising stars, carrying the beautiful promise of heaven at the top. His heaven wasn't there.

She hadn't been for a while.

Serena was waiting for him at the door as he stepped into the foyer. He noted that she looked tired. She was clad in an oversized t-shirt and a small pair of shorts. No shoes. No style. A beautiful mess.

"Sis, what's wrong?"

"I can't bother Blair while she's away..." She paused, drawing in a big breath. "Chuck I think I've done something stupid, it could be the best decision of my life."

"I don't think I follow. Serena what did you do?" He stepped towards her and placed a hand on her arm. She inhaled again, calming herself, preparing to receive a response. Chuck's long fingers pressed into her forearm were calming and gentle. As she was about to reply, Chuck's head snapped up at a familiar voice.

"Morning Mrs Archibald," Nate was descending the stairs and hadn't spotted Chuck yet. When he did he looked guiltily at Serena. She sighed; frustrated, and shrugged. The cat was out of the bag.

"What? Did I just hear correctly? Sis, Nathaniel, as happy as I am to see you two together, isn't this a bit soon? And while I haven't always been the pin up for good behaviour, I don't think the amount of alcohol you consumed to end you in this particular predicament is safe or healthy." His words ran together in a bewildered, high pitched gurgle.

Chuck looked from one to the other, confused. They shared a look that he assumed was one of love and adoration. Yet he couldn't help but think it was lacking something that he knew he shared with Blair. He paced forward across the marble floor, cursing under his breath. What would Blair say? What would Lily do? On his watch his best friends had eloped. Oh God!

"There was no alcohol involved, Chuck…" Serena began.

"'No alcohol' my ass! Guys I'm happy that you're happy, I really am. But this is probably the most ridiculous, irresponsible, spur of the moment stunt you could possibly pull." Chuck stormed over to the liquor cabinet and grabbed a bottle of scotch. He went to the couch, fell backwards and took a swig straight from the bottle.

"Chuck why are you angry? This wasn't exactly the reaction I was expecting from a Bass," Serena snapped as she snatched the bottle away from him. "And don't you dare lecture me on drunk and disorderly and then go straight to the booze."

He rested his elbows on his knees and put his face in his hand. He could feel tears stinging his eyes and his throat was sore from holding them back. He'd been holding them back for weeks.

"Look me in the eye and tell me that this is forever. Look at me and tell me you are willing to spend the rest of your lives together," Chuck demanded. "Because, quite frankly, I know that you won't want to hurt each other and I don't want to have to pick up the pieces if you do."

If the situation hadn't been so serious, he would have laughed. He sounded just like Blair. Perhaps that's why Serena had called on him. He hadn't always been this way. Blair Waldorf had branded him her own. Now she was gone.

Nate sat beside Chuck, Serena across from him on the coffee table, her knees touching his. "Chuck, I know you miss Blair. I know this is killing you. I guess now you know how it feels. She'll come back for, you need to believe that. But just because you're hurting, doesn't mean you can't be happy for us. Yes the decision was a bit reckless but we did it. We got married and it was stupid but we're happy."

Serena placed her hand on his knee, urging him to look up and respond. He didn't but she could see the tears running down his cheeks and onto his clothes.

"Chuck," Nate began. He put his hand on his best friend's back. "Chuck, we're having a baby."

At that his head snapped up. He looked between them before finally cracking a small smile. "I suppose it's acceptable to elope if it means your child isn't born a bastard."

Serena smacked him and they all laughed, wet teary laughs. She picked up his hand and placed it on her still flat stomach.

"We know this is all relatively early, we only found out just last week, but we were wondering if, as god father to our child, you could find a way to lure the god mother home?" Nate asked.

"God father? Me?" Chuck asked. He was suddenly teary again imagining himself holding a little baby in his arms. He avoided the question by asking them one.

"Did I ever show you guys the room Blair and I painted?" He asked. They shook their heads.

Chuck could see it so clearly, the pale purple, the white butterflies, her revised scrapbook on the floor, the only object in the room. Revised so that Chuck was the king to her royal duo. Her dark prince.

"It was that room that no one ever went into: probably all thought it was a coat closet. But it was a bedroom. Blair and I painted it pale purple. It had white butterflies on the wall. It was for our little girl." He whispered sadly. "Now she's left me. She fucking told me she loved me and held me all night and I woke up alone. I don't know where she is or if she's coming back. She isn't even here for her best friends when they need her."

"Baby girl?" Serena almost gasped. She wasn't sure why she was so surprised but it dawned on her in that moment that while Chuck and Blair had a very strong sex life, they actually made love and beautiful things came from it.

"She never said as much but I knew. She had missed her period. But then she got it so she closed the door and that was that. I asked her if she wanted to try for a baby and she smacked me and said 'Out of wedlock? Get your head out of the gutter you Basshole. Let's wait until we're married.' And it was all ok."

Serena clasped Chuck's hand in hers, willing him to be alright. Come back, B. He needs you. We all do. But Chuck needs you the most. Please. She silently begged.

Their phones all went off at the same time, breaking through their private moment and stealing their attention.

**Spotted: Queen B in Paris doing **_**j'taime**_** with two little princess'. I take it from the orphanage sign that they aren't Waldorf-Bass spawn. Is our Queen trading in Dior for denim and doing charity for those in need? My hat goes off to you B, keep up the good work. As for you C, I'd like to give you a piece of advice. Don't let your Queen go solo in the city of love, we both know that she is well acquainted with a certain Prince. And a real palace beats the Palace any day. Swim Bass, swim.**

**You know you love me. **

**xoxo Gossip Girl. **

Chuck sat staring at his phone but not really reading it. Paris. Of course she was there. He could have found her, he knew it all along, but it was a trust thing. He needed her to know that he wouldn't invade her space and chase her where he wasn't wanted. A month apart was more than enough though. He wanted her back in his arms so that he could marry her and start a family with her. He wanted the purple room back. He wanted Blair.

"Why are you still sitting here?" Nate whispered. "Go and bring our girl home. This baby needs both of its god parents."

Chuck got up, kissed his sister, kissed her stomach, patted Nate on the back and ran.

He was going to Paris to win the heart of the girl he loved.

Agh, how clichéd.

He groaned.

xoxo

Chuck stepped off the Bass jet into the mild Parisian air. The sun was still out and it filtered through the trees like gold mist. He breathed in the air and couldn't help but think that if he could bottle it, Blair would wear it all day long. It was sweet and warm, similar to the way Blair tasted. He licked his lips.

From one vehicle to another, Chuck bid a brief farewell to the fresh air and climbed into his waiting limo. Having gone straight to the airport after the Gossip Girl blast came through, he had only his phone, wallet and the ring. He wasn't concerned. He was Chuck Bass, after all. And if he couldn't buy the things he needed, he knew there were a variety of his things at both Harold and Roman's chateaux and at Eleanor and Cyrus' penthouse.

Blair had made pretty sure that they had things there should they ever feel the need to spontaneously escape for the weekend so that she could do some shopping or curb her cravings and more often than not, because she wanted to make love overlooking the bustling sunny streets with the smell of fresh pastry filling the air.

Chuck never complained. He too often had cravings that needed to be satisfied. What better place than Paris.

But today he wasn't here for his favourite smoked salmon baguette. The limo was speeding in the direction he had given the driver. The Convent of Carmel was in the heart of Paris. The photo on Gossip Girl had shown Blair walking out with two little girls and heading toward the market. He knew that the convent also looked after orphans.

It would take, he estimated, twenty minutes in this traffic to reach his destination. Now normally Chuck would wind down the windows and watch the world go by. Looking at the people interacting on the street was one of his favourite things to do. Sometimes with Blair, he played 'spot the tourist', other times they would make up stories about interesting looking people.

More often than not, they would end up doubled over in fits of giggles. Chuck remembered a story Blair had spun about a woman with hippy pants being followed by her cat. Chuck had laughed so hard he had ended up on the floor. Blair had soon joined him and they spent the rest of the car ride making love filled with a very pleasurable vibration of giggles.

However he was too anxious to think about anyone else right now. He just wanted to go to Blair and kiss her until everything was ok again. He knew that was unrealistic. They would probably end up fighting about why she left and why she had stayed away for so long. But a guy could dream.

And boy did he dream. All of his good dreams were about Blair. And all of his bad dreams were about losing her. Blair seemed to consume him and while he loved her with all of his heart, he hated her for having that effect on him. It was just one of those things that made them Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck. Because while he hated how she affected him so much, he loved it because of how it made him feel. Blair was a curse he embraced whole heartedly.

Blair was himself reflected back in pure form.

She was the angel drawn to the dark side. He was the devil redeemed.

And she was on the street outside his window. Her chestnut curls were pulled back in a loose plait around her glowing, sun kissed face and she was dressed in jeans! He knew they would be designer but none the less it was a shock. She was wearing a pair of gold sandals and she had on a beautiful short sleeved white silk blouse with gold buttons up the front.

She was sitting on a bench behind the wrought iron fence that surrounded the convent, a little girl on her lap whose hair Blair was braiding, and other little girls surrounding her on the grass with eager smiles while Blair spoke animatedly.

Chuck's first thought was how beautiful she looked. The simplicity of her clothes made her look like she wasn't trying so hard to impress anyone. He knew, being Blair, that she would have spent a while choosing her outfit. All the same, he liked the nonchalant aura that surrounded her when she threw her head back and filled the air with the beautiful music of her laughter.

He liked that she was trying to please no one but herself.

His second thought was how beautiful she looked surrounded by the children. The way they hung off her every word, and she theirs made his heart ache. One at a time, she gave them her undivided attention. She cuddled them and played with their hair, she told them stories and listened while they relayed their own.

Chuck looked at Blair surrounded by the little girls and imagined that they were his own. The image of Blair in the purple room, surrounded by their children filled his mind. Little Chuck's and Blair's listening to their mother as she read a story became the most beautiful and horrifying dream Chuck had ever had. And it occurred with his eyes wide open. The horrific part was that the old Chuck Bass never wanted anyone's children or anything to do with children full stop. Anything that tied him down was out of the question.

That was until he had fallen for Blair.

Finally he stepped out of the limo and onto the warm grey pavement. His feet felt heavy and his heart was beating like a freight train. Without having any conscious thought to move, he found himself walking through the gates until he was only a few feet away from where Blair sat.

As if by magic, Blair turned her head to look behind her at Chuck. It wasn't until then that he realised he had said her name.

"Chuck," said Blair, bewildered and, unbeknownst to him, pleasantly surprised. She whispered a few words to the little girl on her lap in perfect French and slid her from her lap so that she could stand.

"I found you," he stated, accompanied by a small smile and a shrug.

"Chuck, you know I'm always happy to see you, but I told you I needed time," she nervously fidgeted with her hair, her fingers flaying around the loose curls that had fallen out around her face.

"You've had time. And if I remember correctly, you also told me I needed to fight for you. Here's me fighting," he straightened his back and gave her a challenging smirk.

"Chuck," she whispered, shaking her head at him. She was in denial, again. Her fingers moved from the small curls to the end of her plait, circling the band that kept it tied up.

"Don't," he stepped closer. Close enough touch her. He reached out slowly and took her hand away from her hair. Looking down at their joined hands, he continued, "I like it like that."

Chuck's other hand moved to finger her plait. Even woven, as loose as it was, her hair felt like silk. He traced the pattern of her hair within its three part weave with his ring finger, from the bottom all the way to the base of her neck. His fingers lingered softly and finally moved to the nape of her neck. He traced from there to her weak spot, only a few centimeters away and he heard a small sigh escape from between her lips.

Just as Chuck was about to lean forward and place a reconciliatory kiss on her full, perfect pink lips, he felt a small tug on the leg of his trousers. Blair giggled and nodded her head down. Chuck turned to see the little girl who had been sitting on Blair's lap only seconds before, waiting with wide and expectant green eyes.

"Excuse me, Monsieur," she chirped in a stunning French accent. She couldn't have been older than seven, but her innocent little face, sharpened for the tightness of her gold braided hair, was inquisitive.

"Oui, Mademoiselle?" Chuck replied. He could feel Blair's hand tighten on his, passing her amusement over to him through touch.

"How do you know Mademoiselle Blair?" Her English was perfect and charming.

"She's my best friend," Chuck told her. He looked up at Blair for conformation and saw that she looked slightly taken aback. She even looked like she might cry.

"Blair, I…" he began, trying to fix what he'd said.

"You've never said that before," she whispered.

"What? That you are my best friend?" He smiled and took her other hand in his. "You've always been my best friend."

"I like it," she whispered, looking at their hands coyly and biting her bottom lip.

"Good," he chuckled, rubbing his thumbs softly over the backs of her hands.

"Will you say it again?"

"Blair, you are my best friend."

She looked up at him and he saw that she had tears in her eyes. She smiled and then she closed her eyes, leaned forward, and brushed her lips softly across his. Chuck's eyes fluttered closed as she pressed her lips more firmly against him. They were warm and wet. And he noted, as he discreetly ran his tongue in the small space between her lips, how she tasted exactly how she always did.

Honey, berries and sunshine.

"You taste the same," she mumbled against his mouth.

"You too," he replied, hungrily kissing her again. He could feel her humming. It tickled.

"Mmm. Caramel and scotch," she slurred.

"I missed you Best Friend," he said, opening his eyes to look into hers.

"I missed you too, but I'm afraid it's not enough," she replied. There was an unsettling glint in her eyes.

"What?" Chuck gaped.

"Being your best friend isn't enough," she explained with a cheeky giggle and Chuck sighed in relief with a small smirk and a chuckle. He noticed that the charming little girl had retreated back somewhat to watch and whisper and giggle about the exchange with her little friends.

Chuck took a step back and freed one of his hands from hers, which he reached into his pocket. He got down on one knee and looked up at Blair with a rare, wide and blindingly breathtaking smile.

"Well then, Waldorf, if it's not too much…" he pulled the small black velvet box from his pocket and held it out to her. "Will you marry me?"

Blair Cornelia Waldorf taught Chuck many things. She taught him how to tie his shoes; how to make friends; how to fight the monsters in his closet; how to find pie and how to combine atoms in an equation. She taught him how to be funny; she taught him about dreams; she taught him how to be gentle; how to trust; how to believe; how to forgive.

"You taught me how to make love; how to truly smile with my heart; you taught me how to be happy and you taught me how to love. Because of you I know how to be a good person. Blair, I will spend the rest of my life loving you and trying to make you as happy as you make me. Your darkest thought and the worst thing you've done, I will stand by you through anything because I love you. Always have, always will. Will you do me the honor of being my best friend, my partner in crime, my lover and my wife, for the rest of our lives?"

He was staring up at her through long lashes. His eyes were watery and the set of his cheekbones was proud. His lips were pressed into a thin, anxious line. Blair could feel her tears on her cheeks and her own lips twitched as she fought a smile and failed.

The smile that she graced him with was the single most pure and beautiful thing he had ever seen. She reached her hand and brushed her fingertips across his lips, caressing them and moulding them into a small smile.

"Yes," she said breathily and the smile that broke out onto his face reflected her own perfectly. _You taught to me to truly smile with my heart._

He was the most beautiful reflection of herself that she had ever seen.

He opened the black velvet box, and slid the ring into place on her delicate finger.

xoxo

**Epilogue**

Outside their bedroom window, the sky was grey and it was raining. It was one of those cold silver-white days that didn't quite touch you. The snow would settle and the rain would either spoil it or freeze with it but it didn't matter when you were in the warmth of a penthouse apartment. Blair and Chuck were curled up in bed under the warm egg shell blue silk duvet, spooning. Chuck's arm was draped across her body and his hand rubbed soothing circles on her slowly growing stomach.

"Good morning, Mrs Bass," he whispered hotly against the nape of her neck.

Blair traced soft patterns on Chuck's hand atop her stomach and smiled sleepily.

"Good morning my dear," she replied, drawing his hand up to her lips.

He smiled and continued to pepper her neck with warm, lingering kisses. Blair sighed and brought his hand back down to her stomach. She pushed her top aside so that Chuck could place his fingers against her bare flesh.

"Good morning Baby Bass," Chuck whispered, and Blair could feel him smiling against her neck as he splayed his fingers over the baby bump.

Blair kept her eyes shut as she enjoyed the moist, lazy kisses that Chuck continued to place on her neck, leaving a glittery trail from the nape to her ear. He sucked on her ear lobe gently until he heard her purr.

"I love your mommy very much," he told the baby. "So much that…" he flipped her underneath him and kissed her full on the lips. He could taste the remains of pomegranate lip gloss on her blood red lips.

Blair felt her breath catch in her throat and she sucked in a gasp. She let out a shaky breath followed by a moan. He continued kissing her, melding his lips to hers in a desperate effort to be one with the woman he loved most in the world. Each brush of his lips against hers drew little pants from between her lips.

"Chuck," she panted and bit down on his lip.

"Blair," he moaned in return.

Chuck pinned her hands above her head as he continued with his PG13 exploits.

"Oh Chuck, darling," she purred. And again she moaned from the extra pleasure the vibrations of his chuckles brought.

Blair remained relatively quiet as his tongue slid effortlessly over hers, his lips sucked and kissed her and his teeth grazed her jaw. Quiet because both of her parents and their respective partners were staying at her and Chuck's penthouse for the Christmas holidays. And although it was their home, she didn't really want her parents to hear her and Chuck going at it all the time.

She knotted her fingers in his hair, drawing him closer. The way she knew he loved, she massaged his scalp with her finger nails so that he too moaned.

As it turned out however, keeping quiet was not such a good idea.

Hearing silence from behind Blair and Chuck's bedroom door, Harold Waldorf assumed his daughter and her husband to still be fast asleep. Serena and Nate had just dropped their two year old daughter, Maia over as Nate had a business conference in Toronto for a week. Blair and Chuck, being the doting god parents, had jumped at the opportunity to look after their niece for the week.

For a while, it had been a bit up in the air about whether Serena would go; being in the first trimester of her second pregnancy, her severe morning sickness made travel difficult. However she had been slowly getting over it and so wanted to be there while Nate overlooked some important developments for the new sport center that the firm he worked for was funding.

Upon her arrival, Maia had immediately demanded in the few words she could muster, to be taken to Uncle Blair and Auntie Chuck, much to everyone's amusement. So Roman followed a few feet behind Harold up the stairs with the little girl chattering excitedly in his arms.

"Blair Bear, Charles, Maia's here…" Harold chirped opening the door slightly. And then froze when he saw Blair with Chuck on top of her, his lips attacking her neck.

"Daddy!" Blair shrieked, kicking Chuck as hard as she could in her pregnant state, which was hard enough that he toppled out of the bed and out of view. Her father looked horrified, though honestly, how he didn't catch on to the fact that they were sexually intimate after Blair had announced her pregnancy was beyond Chuck.

He stumbled backward out of the room and mumbled something that stopped Roman and Maia from entering.

Blair looked down at Chuck, who smirked up at her before wiping his hand across his mouth with raised eyebrows mocking her. Blair looked mortified her mouth opening and closing and her eyes wide and watery. Her voice failed her until Chuck, sensing her embarrassment, swiftly jumped to his feet and kissed her soundly on her open mouth.

"Don't worry about it, Bass," he soothed as he climbed back into bed.

Blair pulled her clothes back on and composed herself before calling that Maia should come in. The door opened again to reveal Harold ushering Roman and Maia into the room. He looked everywhere but at the couple on the bed. Roman, on entering gave Chuck a wicked grin.

As he placed an excited Maia into Blair's waiting arms he said to Chuck, "I'm glad you're taking good care of my girl." He nodded at Blair with a chuckle. "Be thankful Harold, that Chuck loves Blair so very much," this was directed at Harold.

He nodded stiffly but still wouldn't look at them. He could hear Chuck cooing pleasantly at the little girl and her giggles in return.

"Daddy?" Harold didn't turn to Blair. "Daddy! Please don't be so ridiculous." He finally looked. Blair was sitting up in bed; Chuck beside her was tickling Maia on his lap. It was beautiful. A little preview of what was to come when they finally had their own baby. And although Harold was terrified that his little girl was doing such… things, he was happy that Chuck loved her so much.

"Honestly," Blair continued, "how did you think I got pregnant?"

Chuck stifled a laugh but failed. Maia copied him. Their laughter resounded through the room loudly.

"It's not funny Charles," Harold was positively red in the face and soon Roman had joined Chuck and Maia in laughing at Harold.

xoxo

Downstairs at the kitchen table, Eleanor, Cyrus, Roman and Harold sat with cups of tea and coffee listening to the laughter of Blair and Maia; with the occasional chuckle from Chuck, drift down the stairs and blend with the warm, fragrant air.

Cyrus laughed along and chanted every so often, "Not enough."

Eleanor smiled nostalgically. Maia wasn't even Blair and Chuck's daughter and they gave her more attention than Eleanor thought she ever gave Blair. Blair, she thought, would make a wonderful mother and she had a feeling Chuck would be fabulous too, though at the start she doubted it. But when he was with Maia the doubt was wiped away by certainty.

Chuck was positively infatuated with Maia. As if to confirm Eleanor's thoughts, Blair descended the stairs in a fit of giggles, with her hand protectively placed on her stomach, followed by a laughing Chuck with Maia in his arms.

"What's your name?" He asked her.

"Maia!" Little Maia shrieked excitedly.

"What's my name?"

"Chuck!"

"Who's that?" He pointed at Blair and whispered in Maia's ear.

"The monster!"

Blair spun around with a look of mock horror on her face and Maia exploded into fit of more giggles as Blair attacked her with kisses.

Chuck put Maia down at the bottom of the stairs and let her run clumsily to Eleanor shouting, "Run Uncle Chuck, monster."

The moment that her daughter and her husband shared next was so gentle and private that of course, Eleanor nudged the men so that they could watch too.

Chuck was crouched down on the floor in front of Blair. His hands were on either side of her stomach, stroking, as he spoke quietly to the baby. The conversation wasn't clear but Eleanor did hear him address the baby as "Baby Girl." She knew that they had decided to let the sex of the child be a surprise. Chuck had made it quite clear that he wanted a girl, a little version of Blair.

Harold felt his heart melt as he watched his son-in-law, who he'd caught in such an intimate situation earlier, gently, lovingly caress his daughter's belly. Chuck stood up and pressed a soft kiss against Blair's lips. She returned it with closed eyes, her hands eagerly clutching the front of Chuck's shirt.

Harold coughed; none too subtly, and Chucked pulled away from Blair. He nodded his head respectfully at Harold, and took Blair's hand to lead her to the table. Chuck pulled the chair out for Blair and then for a waiting Maia.

"Here you go madam," Chuck lifted her into her high chair and kissed her on the cheek.

The three of them chattered foolishly together, Blair saying silly things and spooning food into Maia's mouth, Chuck counteracting her.

Eleanor looked pointedly at Harold, then at Cyrus and Roman. Silently, as they watched on, they agreed, Chuck and Blair would make beautiful parents.

They would have a beautiful family.


End file.
